How would a car built by Microsoft look like?
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared
the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If
GM (General Motors) had kept up with technology like the computer
industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that
got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments,
General Motors issued a press release stating:
"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics:
- For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
- Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to
buy a new car.
- Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason,
and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
- Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.
- Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
"Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to
buy more seats.
- Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would
only run on five per cent of the roads.
- The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would
be replaced by a single "general car default" warning
- New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
- The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before
- Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the
door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
- GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they
neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option
would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or
more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the
- Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to
learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as the old car.
- You'd press the "start" button to shut off the
on Thursday, November 20, 2003