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Wednesday, 03-Nov-2004 15:38:25 CET |
Recently on the radio at the airport ...
Pilot: "Bratislava Tower, this is Oscar Oscar Kilo estabished ILS 16." Tower: "Oscar Oscar Kilo, welcome, cleared to land 16, wind calm - and by the way: this is Wien Tower." Pilot: (After a short break) "Bratsilava Tower, Oscar Oscar Kilo passed the outer marker." Tower: "Oscar Oscar Kilo roger, and once more: you are approaching Vienna!" Pilot: (Again after a short break) "Confirm, this is NOT Bratislava?" Tower: "You can believe me, this is Vienna! Pilot: (Once again after a break) "But why? We want to go to Bratislava, not to Vienna!" Tower: "Oscar Oscar Kilo, roger. Discontinue approach, turn left 030 and climb to 5000 feet, vectors to Bratislava."
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Pilot: "...Tower, please call me a fuel truck." Tower: "Roger. You are a fuel truck."
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Tower: "Phantom-Formation crossing
controlzone without clearance, state your callsign!"
Pilot: "I'm not silly..."
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Tower (in Stuttgart): "Lufthansa 5680, reduce to 170 knots." Pilot: "Wow, this is like in Frankfurt! There they also only have 210 and 170 knots ... but, well, we are flexible!" Tower: "Us too! Reduce to 173 knots."
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Pilot: "Ground, XY-line 195, requesting start-up." Tower: "Sorry, XY-line 195, we don't have your flight plan. What is your destination ?" Pilot: "As every monday, to Leipzig." Tower: "But, today is tuesday!" Pilot: "What? But on tuesdays we have the day off!"
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Tower: "Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago?" Pilot: "Negativ, Sir. It's only the same pilot."
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Tower: "Delta Zulu Romeo, turn right now and report your heading." Pilot: "Wilco. 341, 342, 343, 344, 345..."
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Tower: "Lufthansa 893, number one, checkcar on the runway." Pilot: "Roger we'll check the car on the runway."
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Tower: "Delta Romeo Zulu, confirm you are inbound to Sulz NDB?" Pilot: "Affirm, but we don't receive it."
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Tower: "Delta Oscar Mike, squawk 0476." Pilot: "Say again." Tower: "Squawk 0476." Pilot: "Four, zero...? " Tower: "Would you like to have an easier one?"
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Tower: "Delta Bravo Charlie, is your squawk really seven zero four six?" Pilot: "Positive." Tower: "I hardly believe it! You have an indicated elevation of minus ninty feet."
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Tower: "Hotel Papa Oscar climb four thousand to six thousand and maintain." Pilot: "Hotel Papa Oscar, climbing flight level 100." Tower: "Hotel Papa Oscar, climb to flight level 60 and maintain." Pilot: "But, four plus six equals tens, isn't it?" Tower: "You should climb not do math!"
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Helicopter instructor to the student: "Try to stay within the area made from concrete." After some minutes: " Well, just try to stay at least within the German republic! "
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Tower: "Flamingo 019, do you have a "Springbock" in sight, twelve o'clock five miles crossing from left to right ?" Pilot: "If you mean a 737...?" Tower: "Yeah, you got it, you got it !" Tower: "Delta Fox Alpha, hold position, Marshall will park you." Pilot: "Roger. Looking out for John Wayne."
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München II Tower: "LH 8610 cleared for take-off." Pilot (LH 8610): "But we haven't even landed yet!" Tower: " But who is then standing on 26 south?" Pilot (LH 8801): "LH 8801." Tower: "Well, then its you who is cleared for take-off."
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Tower: "Delta Mike Zulu, after landing cleared to taxi Alpha 7, Alpha 5, Whiskey 2, Delta 1 and Oscar 2." Pilot: "Uhm, where exactly is that? We are not familar with this area?" Tower: "Oh, don't care! I don't know either. I just started here to days ago."
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Tower: "You have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Pilot: "Give us another hint, we have digital watches!"
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Tower: "Mission 123, do you have problems?" Pilot: "I think, I have lost my compass." Tower: "Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel!"
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Pilot: "Good morning, Frankfurt ground, KLM 242 request start up and push back, please." Tower: "KLM 242 expect start up in two hours." Pilot: "Please confirm: two hours delay?" Tower: "Affirmative!" Pilot: "In that case, cancel the good morning!"
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Eggenfelden Info: D-EXXX please report the persons aboard. Pilot of D-EXXX (C-172): Pilot, two passengers and one dog. Eggenfelden Info (after Cessna had a very hard landing and finally bounced to stop): Assume the Pilot in Command was the dog ?
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Pilot: "F LX 30, tower, do you read me? We are running out of gas, request orders!" Tower: "Please give us your exact position, we don't have you on the radar ...!" Pilot: "We are on runway 2 and would like to know when the fuel truck is about to arrive!"
(collect from emails which had been sent to me)
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Wednesday, 03-Nov-2004 15:38:25 CET |